As the title suggests, consorting with writers can be hazardous. Really. Once I start ‘hanging’ with this particular crowd, I find a plethora of issues cropping up. For instance, I may find myself using words in conversations which my co-workers and friends have Google as soon as I leave the room. I have no clue about the hot new show every one is chatting about at the water cooler. I can remember minute details about literary characters, but not the name of the intern. I know exactly where I left off in a book but can’t remember to put my id badge in my purse. Then there is the investment. It sneaks up on me $1.99 at a time. Seriously. I have to physically walk (click?) away from Amazon to keep from putting another book I’m not going to have time for on my Kindle.
Speaking of, the Kindle app. There’s an awesome way for the boss to begin to wonder if I have IBS. Those quick trips to the bathroom can unexpectedly blossom into an unscheduled 10 minute break. Oh and have any of you, wandered into an incredible little tale during lunch and gotten into “to the good part” only to realize you’re sitting in the midst of the cafeteria and surrounded by 100s of people, some of whom you may have to face across a conference room table in an hour? The ensuing blush can be seen from space!
My only redemption is that I have reached the age where I could blame it on a menopausal hot flash rather than a hormonal one. Then there are the lost hours. I have 17 minutes before the dryer is done? My book awaits! Its characters beckoning, enticing me to tarry. Before I know it, its 3am and not only is the laundry sour, I haven’t vacuumed, showered, answered text or phone calls, completed my homework, or that project for my deadline happy boss. Hazardous!
Reader, beware. There are more words and lines and phrases than any mortal will ever consume. Gluttony has its cost!
I am starting a literary diet: I’ll consume the necessary texts like I should my veggies. The class reading, the work related assignments, Bible time, and the occasional self-improvement tomes taking the lion’s share of my literary plate. I pledge to be healthy in my reading. I’ll gorge on what’s good for my brain first. Once I’ve fed my cognitive side then I can indulge in the treats. I’ll choose the savory mysteries, the sweet succor of humor, my carb laden fantasy novels, and the fatty romances in appropriate, smaller, portions. I will have discipline and exhibit self-control. I will. This I vow. I’ll start next week, oh wait, I’ll start right after that new novel I downloaded. I already spent the money and wouldn’t want to waste it… Oh, then there is that short story I am editing for that guy. Um, right after that! I promise! 😉