L Longing

Here, in the faint light of dawn

I envision the life, my life,

the one I want for myself.

.

It’s an apparition, haunting me,

on the edge of my passion, lurking,

mischievous in its delusive state.

.

I know it. More so than my current

failure of a reality, I know it.

Only pain, and change, away from tangible.

.

Sunlight and alarms chase it away,

actually, it flees my cowardice.

I’m not worthy or ready yet to live.