I occasionally write – flash, splash, crash, dump- fiction when some weird thought pops into my head and I can’t focus on what I should be writing because it won’t leave me alone.
This is one of those… please, have a read and leave me comments on how to improve the dialog…
Forget Me – Not
“Hey, Bill! It is so good to see you again! Did Marie come this year? Congratulations on making the President’s Circle again this year! Just splendid!”
“Debra Kohl! Well, you look like a million bucks! Give me that hug you owe me! Marie is here, she is at registrations. They fouled up the session assignment and gave me the wrong room set up. You know I despise that classroom set-up. It just doesn’t work for my innovation and collaboration lecture. Maria is a gem at handling all that stuff. She’s working with the concierge, Jefferies. I just get angry and start a row, especially with some suited snob.”
“Bill, you are a lucky man to have her. I was absolutely thrilled to see your name on the award recipient list. Especially this year! Have you seen this hotel? They’ve redone the whole thing, its just incredible. Wait until you see the new Platinum level rooms, Marie is going to just squeal. Oh look, there’s Danny and Tina. I have to find out how she is doing. You know what happened last year, right? No? I thought everyone knew! I’ll catch up with you and Marie at the bar and tell the whole sordid tale! First round is on you!”
“Isn’t it always? You better go, they’re heading to the elevators. See if you can catch them before they vanish into the 17 floors of this gilded monstrosity!”
“I’ll see you to this evening! Give a kiss to Marie for me!”
“Danny don’t look now but I see Debra heading for us. Oh hell, keep walking and hurry up. I can’t deal with her ‘Madam President’ crap right now. Go!”
“I’m going! Sheesh, Tina, it would help if you’d carry one of your own damn bags! We’re only here for 5 days, you packed like we’re headed to Europe. Ow! What did you pack? Rocks? Damn it, can you at least pick up that one! “
“Yes, I’ve got it, GO. I don’t have the slides for my presentation done yet and I am not willing to listen to her drivel about ‘winging it’ again this year. Condescending bitch has no idea what my life has been like. She’s told half our professional world about one little mistake! She’s such Ms. Perfect. She probably has a damn assistant ghost write her lectures.”
“Here’s the lift, take this other little bag, the handle is cutting off my thumb!”
“I have to have a hand for the button, it isn’t much further. Come on. No, just move to the back corner. No, push the big bag in first! Gods. How do you manage when you travel? You don’t know the simplest things!”
“I don’t take the whole closet with me, Dear, that’s how I manage. I take one bag. One!”
“Where’s the door close button? Why is this thing so slow!”
“It’s right where it always is in a lift, bottom left. No, your other left. There, see?”
“She’s waving, smile darling, wave, that’s a good boy. Oh, come on elevator! Close, close! Thank god. We escaped. What floor are we on? Nine? I hate that we didn’t make the President’s Circle! The upgrades are so nice and that concierge’s private dining room is always the talk of the conference.”
“Next year, Dear. It’s not my fault our clients weren’t served while I was in hospital.”
“I tried, so don’t give me that look. I can’t help that your shagging Don’s assistant gave you a heart attack. I told you she was too young and wild for you but you didn’t listen. Oh, here we are. Careful with that bag, it cost more than your by-pass.”
“Oh damn, I know she saw me. I’ll have to snag Tina at dinner and make certain we don’t have a repeat of last year. Now, on to more pressing things. Where is my… This new handbag is going to be the death of me, too many zippers. Where’s my phone, oh there. I must have my materials delivered from Office Max! I just can’t believe they aren’t here yet. Where’s that number? Ah, here…”
“Hello, thank you for calling Office Max. You call is important to us, please stay on the line and the next available service specialist will be right with you.
We are experiencing an unusually high call volume. Your wait time is approximately 4 minutes. If you would like to leave a call back number, please say ‘one’ to retain your place in the queue..”
“Bother! What happened to having people answer the phone? It’s Office Max for heaven’s sake, not the White House. What was that number? Zero?”
“That is an invalid selection…
Hello, thank you for calling Office Max. You call is important to us, please stay on the line and the next available service specialist will be right with you.”
“They re-queued me! I hope they don’t have a damn survey after this mess! Someone will be scraping up single stars!”
“We are experiencing an unusually high call volume. Your wait time is approximately 6 minutes. If you would like to leave a call back number, please say ‘one’ to retain your place in the queue.”
“One! One, one, one! Why isn’t this working? One! one, oneoneoneone!”
“That is an invalid selection.”
“No! One! One!”
“Hello, thank you for calling Office Max. You call is important to us, please stay on the line and the next available service specialist will be right with you.”
“Bloody hell! I can’t do this! Where is that concierge desk? This remodeling has me all turned around. Jefferies! Where is he? Jefferies!! They really should put down a rug or two, the echo on this marble is awful. Jefferies!”
“Ms. Kohl? I see you’ve arrived a day early. Welcome. Is there something we can assist you with? You seem, well, you seem a bit out of sorts. Is there a problem?
“Mr. Jefferies, my Knight in a Brioni suit! Yes! Yes, you can help me. This blasted robot won’t get me through to someone to find my order and it was supposed to be here hours ago!
“We are experiencing an unusually high call volume. Your wait time is approximately 7 minutes. If you would like to leave a call back number, please say ‘one’ to retain your place in the queue.”
“Here, take this call and see if you can get someone on the line. I just don’t have the patience for this sort of thing. Find my order.”
“Your order, Ma’am? Ms. Kohl, why don’t you have a seat in the Platinum Guest’s lounge? Come along, I’ll have Juan whip up a nice drink for you and you can enlighten me as to how I can help.”
“We are experiencing an unusually high call volume. Your wait time is approximately 9 minutes. If you would like to leave a call back number, please say ‘one’ to retain your place in the queue.”
“One.”
“What, Jefferies? One what? Don’t herd me along like a child! Oh, they’ve redone the lounge, this is splendid! Is that Waterford crystal? One, what?”
“What is your mobile number, ma’am?”
“Thank you for choosing a call back option. Please state your phone number and a member of our team will dial you when you reach the top of the queue. After the beep, please state your number, followed by the pound sign.”
“A Steinway! My grandmother had one of those, never played a note.”
“What is your mobile phone number, for the call back, Ms. Kohl?”
“Oh, what? My number? I have to look it up, hold on. I have it here. No, maybe here. There are too many zippers! Where did I put that card?”
“That is an invalid selection.”
“Bother. Ms. Kohl, perhaps if you can explain…”
“What, Jefferies? Oh look, there it is, inside the mobile case! Silly me! I put it there so it would be easy to find!”
“Hello, thank you for calling Office Max. You call is important to us, please stay on the line and the next available service specialist will be right with you.”
“Ms. Kohl. What did you order from Office Max?”
“What? Speak up, Jefferies. This music is too loud! Goodness, its a piano bar, not a rock concert. You’d think that boy would know how to set a quieter mood. Order? I haven’t ordered.”
“We are experiencing an unusually high call volume. Your wait time is approximately 11 minutes. If you would like to leave a call back number, please say ‘one’ to retain your place in the queue.”
“One.”
“One what? I told you I haven’t ordered. Really, Jefferies! I’m beginning to think you should have retired after last year.”
“Indeed, ma’am. Juan! Please attend to Ms. Kohl. She is the Conference President and will be with us all week.”
“Thank you for choosing a call back option. Please state your phone number and a member of our team will dial you when you reach the top of the queue. After the beep, please state your number, followed by the pound sign.”
“Eight, Nine, Seven, Four, Seven, Four, Two, Zero, Zero, Six”
“Jefferies, why are you giving them my son’s number? He won’t be here until the end of the week! Seriously, Jefferies. You’ve lost your edge!”
“Thank you, your call back number, Eight, Nine, Seven, Four, Seven, Four, Two, Zero, Zero, Six has been recorded. When your call reaches the top of the queue our friendly service team will dial you. Please have your order number and shipping confirmation code ready. Goodbye.”
“Ms. Kohl, the number on this card is your mobile, correct?”
“Oh, yes, of course. I get them mixed up, I bought us all new phones for the holidays and they have sequential numbers. It makes them so easy!”
“Ma’am, the service team will return your call shortly. Juan, I will handle the bill.”
“Oh, goodness, you have the manager calling me back? I forgive you, Jefferies, well done. Maybe you’ve another year in you yet! Now, Juan is it? Poor boy, this country is hard on immigrants. No matter, though, you’ve got top notch job here, right?”
“Ma’am, if you will pardon me I must see to something at the desk. Juan is an excellent bartender, his father owns the Embassy Club downtown, it was handed down from his Great Uncle and a family patron before him. They have quite a long standing in the community. Please enjoy a refreshment while you wait on the call back. Juan, thank you.”
“Well, Juan, it seems you have him around your little finger! Ha! Who would have thought it… Jefferies a latin-loving fop. Well, no mind, I’m all about diversity.”
“Ms. Kohl, it isn’t like that… What can I make you?”
Now, amigo Juan, whip me up a Manhattan, on the rocks. Canadian Rye, not that swill on the bottom shelf. A pinch of bitters, but don’t over do it, I hate too much bitters. Oh, and be a dear, add a splash of Cointreau.”
“Of course, ma’am. Manhattan, on the rocks. Canadian Rye, pinch of bitters, splash of Cointreau. Right away. Oh, is that your phone vibrating, ma’am?”
“Bother! I missed it! Be a dear, after you bring me that perfect Manhattan, tootle off and find Jefferies for me.”
sharpwittedfl 